Characters: Barak is the President; Hillary is the secretary of the States; Bill No. 1 is the former President; Bill No. 2 is the President’s Chief of Staff.
(In the Rose Garden of the White House)
Hillary: Mr. President. China will have a new president this year.
Barak: Who is the new leader of China?
Hillary: No, Hu will be retiring. Xi (she) is the new leader of China.
Barak: Who is she?
Hillary: No, Hu is Hu, Xi is Xi.
Barak: I know Hu is a guy. Now will they have a female leader in China?
Hillary: No, Xi is a guy too.
Barak: She is a guy? Who is he?
Hillary: Yes. Hu is a he.
Barak: I know Hu is he. Then who is She?
Hillary: No, Hu is Hu, Xi is Xi.
Barak: You just said She is a guy?
Hillary: Yes.
Barak: How dare you say she is a guy! If she is a guy, then I will be a lady.
Hillary: No, I am a lady, you are a guy.
Barak: Then why you call she is a guy?
Hillary: Because Xi is a guy!
Barak: How do you know she is a guy?
Hillary: Because Xi was married, Xi has a wife.
Barak: Does China also approve same sex marriage?
Hillary: No.
Barak: Then why she can marry to a woman?
Hillary: Because Xi is a man.
Barak: You mean she is a man?
Hillary: Yes sir.
Barak: I know Yasser is a man, but he is a dead man. Hu picked she?
Hillary: Yes sir.
Barak: Let’s forget Yasser, he is dead already. Ok?
Hillary: Ok. In order to know Xi better, I have sent someone to meet him.
Barak: Mind your grammar, Ms. Secretary of the States! The object pronoun of she is her, not him, Ok? No wonder why I insist education all the time. So, who did you send to meet She?
Hillary: Locke.
Barak: Lock? You send a lock to She? China is rich now, they won't be satisfied with a lock. We should send her a better gift, like an iPhone . Speaking of iPhone, it is sad to lose Jobs this year.
Hillary: But sir, the job marketing is improving now, we added over 200,000 jobs last month.
Barak: No, no, I mean the Jobs for Apple.
Hillary: While, since most farms let visitors pick apples themselves, the jobs for apple picking...(interrupted by Barak)
Barak: Enough. Let's go back to China. China is not our friend now, we should spy them. Why don't we send She a bug? Will She buy any special airplane from Boeing like Jian Zeming? We can install bugs on his plane.
Hillary: We don't know yet.
Barak: Prepare some bugs anyway. By the way, you can contact Bloomberg for free bugs. I heard the beds in New York city are full of bugs.
Hillary: Ok.
Barak: I am tired, let's take a break. Bill? (He called out.)
Hillary: Sir, we are in the White House now, not in the restaurant.
Barak: I am not going to pay anything.
Hillary: Yes, I know the taxpayer will pay for us.
Barak: No, no. Stop talking about tax, it makes me feel sick. I just want Bill. Do you know where is my Bill?
Hillary: No. I did not bring cash with me. If you need money, I can give you my credit card.
Barak: No, I do not want money. I want the guy, Bill.
Hillary: Oh, I did not bring Bill with me either. He is now being interviewed by my daughter.
Barak: Bill is looking for a new job? I thought he is happy with me.
Hillary: No, Bill is happy with me! He is loyal to me, while, most of the time. Most importantly, he is not a gay. He will not be happy with you.
Barak: Ok, that Bill! Then why is he interviewed by his own daughter? Is he gonna work for her?
Hillary: No, my daughter is now a correspondent for a media. She is responsible for "Making a Difference".
Barak: No need of her, I can make the difference here: Your Bill is not my Bill. Here comes my Bill.
Bill: Yes, sir?
Barak: No more Yasser, Please! He is history. Now tell me who won the Maine caucus?
Bill: Mitt.
Barak: Meat? I thought Maine is famous for its lobster.
Bill: Yes.
Barak: Then who won?
Bill: Mitt.
Barak: I hate meat. Lobster is juicier and more delicious. So tell me who won the Maine caucus?
Bill: Mitt.
Barak: Ok, meat! But I prefer meatloaf. Oh, probably also a bowl of Condi Rice, and a cup of Annan Kofi. And when you pay the Bill, do not forget to get a receipt! We need reimbursement from the taxpayers.
(Author declaration: this is created for pure fun only, no disrespectfulness exists for anyone).
Notes:
Locke:Gary Locke,US Ambassador to China
Mitt: Mitt Romney, a GOP Presidential candidate
Yasser: Yasser Arafat, a Palestinian leader
Rice: Condoleezza Rice, former Secretary of the States
Kofi: Kofi Annan, former Secretary-General of UN
Jobs: Steve Jobs, former CEO of Apple
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