tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47928944505907060982024-03-19T14:42:35.813-07:00Charles Dollarjiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-89450886424504315382012-02-20T01:59:00.000-08:002012-02-20T01:59:08.176-08:00Joke: Turn left<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After I passed the test, I called DMV and scheduled a road
test. On the day of road test, I was
nervous and asked the DMV official to repeat on many occasions to prevent
misunderstanding. However, I still failed the test.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At an intersection, the DMV official ordered: “Turn left.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To make sure I understand her order, I repeated: “Do you
mean turn left?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Right!” She said.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I made a right turn!</span>jiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-14653928535729613382012-02-20T01:55:00.000-08:002012-02-20T01:55:01.526-08:00Joke: Right of the road<br />
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When I first arrived at the United States, my English was
poor. In order to get a driver license, I had to pass a knowledge test first. In order to pass the knonledge test, I had to
study the brochure. I had a hard time understanding the phase “right of the
road”. When I asked a fellow student,
he told me, “right of the road means the right side of the road. Every driver
must drive on the right side of the road.”
Then, he pondered, “Who will drive on the left side then? Aren’t we wasting
half of the road?”</div>jiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-63113586426364458472012-02-17T11:25:00.001-08:002012-02-17T11:25:22.198-08:00One day before Whitney Houston's funeral<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwJfXeLyOA_sd8jYNddHqREOEeeaCjTimhh89bZFG-4V-DaYomYGAXIImFziiV4nVu13ky5JaC7UQ1jBykEeyVqGRujiEnmyjtEDb262hLiUAwSEyP_b2wcEedy5_ldFSWULnHIO61Xko/s1600/lg.01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwJfXeLyOA_sd8jYNddHqREOEeeaCjTimhh89bZFG-4V-DaYomYGAXIImFziiV4nVu13ky5JaC7UQ1jBykEeyVqGRujiEnmyjtEDb262hLiUAwSEyP_b2wcEedy5_ldFSWULnHIO61Xko/s320/lg.01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />jiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-70450916386852595162012-02-17T09:23:00.000-08:002012-02-17T09:24:22.056-08:00To everyone who cares Whitney Houston<br />
<div style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
I just came back from the scene where Whitney Houston's funeral will be held tomorrow and took some video. You can watch it on youtube:</div>
<div style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4sd1bm8UEQ" style="color: black; font-size: 12px; text-decoration: none;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4sd1bm8UEQ</a></div>jiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-31755068390580349972012-02-16T04:54:00.000-08:002012-02-16T04:54:45.407-08:00Bedtime story: THE ADVENTURES OF PINKIE AND WHITIE (1)<br />
<h1>
<div class="MsoBodyText">
<span style="font-size: small;"> Pinkie and
Whitie Bear were two bear sisters who lived in a small town named Friendly
Forests. Their great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great
grandpa was one of the first rainbow bears to live in Friendly Forests. The
team of bears named it Friendly Forests because all the deer, rabbits, and
bears who had alreadly lived there were extremely helpful and caring. They made
new lives for the new bears. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"> Pinkie and Whitie shared a large bedroom in their
humogous mansion. It was called The Flower Garden. Pinkie and Whitie loved
their big house. They cared for the flowers and kept their room neat. Everyone
loved and admired their house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"> Pinkie and Whitie were twins, but
their personalities were completely different. Pinkie was a perfect girl who
always got A+ on her tests. She was also very pretty and had lots of friends.
Whitie, on the other hand, was a good student and a great athlete and musician,
but only had one or two close friends. Both girls were very well known in
school for their own abilities.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"> One
day, Whitie and Seahea, a seahorse neighbor, were reading about comets and
asteroids when Ms. Brown’s phone rang. She hurried out the door to answer it.
While she was gone, people started passing notes. Pinkie passed one to whitie
that said,”Janet wants you to come to her birthday party.” Whitie had just
enough time to scribble an answer before Ms. Brown came back. Ms.Brown was the
nicest third grade teacher at Bruno Bear Elementary School. The school was
named after Pinkie and Whitie’s
great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa.Ms. Brown
probably wouldn’t punish Whitie for passing a note, but she wanted to stay on
the safe side.</span></h1>jiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-29942875669714099032012-02-16T04:50:00.001-08:002012-02-16T04:56:20.682-08:00Dad’s Night Essay<br />
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="margin-left: 1.5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"> Dad’s Night Essay <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Imagine being able to
give a child a gift that could pull them through the rest of their school year.
Maybe it’ll be a book, or a new backpack, or even a box of crayons. K.I.D.S. (
short for kids in distressed situations,) can do that and more. For over 25
years, K.I.D.S has provided over 4 billion kids with new clothes, books, toys
and more. You should donate to K.I.D.S. because they are a non-profit
organization, it has helped many, many kids, and it is reliable.<span style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The
first reason why you should donate to K.I.D.S. is because they are a non-profit
organization. This means that they don’t work to earn money for themselves.
They work for their clients. Every penny counts towards getting something
special for a child in need. This way, you won’t be wasting any money at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K.I.D.S.
has helped over 4 billion kids in need around the world. This shows that it is
successful in both getting donations and getting the supplies to the children
that need them. Since it has a good history, K.I.D.S. is able to help more and
more kids. After all, you don’t want to give to a foundation that can’t keep up
with the donations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Finally,
K.I.D.S. is reliable in all ways. It’ll use the donations wisely and give the
items to the children that need them the most. It won’t cheat you and keep the donations for themselves. It
has a very high rating on Charity Navigator and has been giving to children
around the world since 1986. It has been operating for 26 years, never stopping
or failing to reach their goal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K.I.D.S.
is the perfect charity to donate to. It will spend all $500 on everyday
necessities, give the items to those who truly need it the most, and is
guaranteed to spend the money wisely. So don’t hesitate. Go on to K.I.D.S.’s
website and donate now!</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>jiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-80374863317691437872012-02-12T19:09:00.001-08:002012-02-16T05:07:42.159-08:00If you quit smoking now, what will happen to your health?After 20 Minutes - Your heart rate drops.<br />
After 12 Hours - Carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal.<br />
After 2 Weeks to 3 Months - Your heart attack risk begins to drop. Your lung function begins to to improve.<br />
After 1-9 Months - Your coughing and shortness of breath decrease.<br />
After 1 Year - Your added risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a smoker’s<br />
After 5 Years - Your stroke risk is reduced to that of a non-smoker’s 5-15 years after quitting.<br />
After 10 Years - Your lung cancer death rate is about half that of a smoker’s. Your risk of cancers of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney and pancreas decreases.<br />
After 15 Years - Your risk of coronary heart disease is back to that of a non-smoker’s.<br />
After 20 Years-You start to participate the funeral of fellow smokers...jiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-22387999530220126982012-02-12T19:08:00.000-08:002012-02-15T02:16:37.731-08:00If all human beings disappear, what will happen to New York city?• 10 years later: Sidewalks crack and weeds invade. Hawks and falcons flourish, as do feral cats and dogs. The rat
population, deprived of human garbage, crashes. Cockroaches, which thrive in warm buildings, disappear. Cultivated
carrots, cabbages, broccoli, and brussels sprouts revert to their wild ancestors.<br />
• 20 years later: Water-soaked steel columns supporting subway tunnels corrode and buckle. Bears and wolves invade
Central Park.<br />
• 50 years later: Concrete chunks tumble from buildings, whose steel foundations begin to crumble. Indian Point nuclear
reactors leak radioactivity into the Hudson River.<br />
• 100 years later: Oaks and maples re-cover the land.<br />
• 300 years later: Most bridges collapse.<br />
• 1,000 years later: Hell Gate Bridge, built to bring the railroad across the East River, finally falls.<br />
• 10,000 years later: Indian Point nuclear reactors continue to leak radioactivity into the Hudson River.<br />
• 20,000 years later: Glaciers move relentlessly across the island of Manhattan and its environs, scraping the landscape clean.jiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-79211192777694803852012-02-05T17:07:00.001-08:002012-02-06T14:34:59.577-08:00Bilingual joke (中英双语笑话):At the beginning of Human Beings(人之初)人之初,性本善
In the beginning of human beings, sex is good.(评论: 什么时候开始变坏的?)
性相近,习相远
Sex is close,customers are far.(评论: 兔子不吃窝边草?)jiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-80495186846414787962012-02-05T17:06:00.000-08:002012-02-05T17:06:12.886-08:00The wildest NFL super-bowl score prediction100:0(Giants:Patriots) by my little daughter, coz 100 is the biggest number she knows, 0 smallestjiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-66770566587674342462012-01-07T11:17:00.000-08:002012-02-13T12:21:33.767-08:00Xi is the new leader of China (Funny dialogues)<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">10 years have passed since Mr. Hu Jingtao became president of China. In 2012, Mr. Xi Jinping will become China’s new president. White House is once again having a discussion of the new leader in China.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Characters: Barak is the President; Hillary is the secretary of the States; Bill No. 1 is the former President; Bill No. 2 is the President’s Chief of Staff.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">(In the Rose Garden of the White House)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Mr. President. China will have a new president this year.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Who is the new leader of China?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: No, Hu will be retiring. Xi (she) is the new leader of China.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Who is she?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: No, Hu is Hu, Xi is Xi.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: I know Hu is a guy. Now will they have a female leader in China?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: No, Xi is a guy too. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: She is a guy? Who is he?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Yes. Hu is a he.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: I know Hu is he. Then who is She?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: No, Hu is Hu, Xi is Xi.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: You just said She is a guy?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Yes. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: How dare you say she is a guy! If she is a guy, then I will be a lady.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: No, I am a lady, you are a guy.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Then why you call she is a guy?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Because Xi is a guy!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: How do you know she is a guy?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Because Xi was married, Xi has a wife.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Does China also approve same sex marriage?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: No.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Then why she can marry to a woman?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Because Xi is a man.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: You mean she is a man?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Yes sir.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: I know Yasser is a man, but he is a dead man. Hu picked she?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Yes sir.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Let’s forget Yasser, he is dead already. Ok?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Ok. In order to know Xi better, I have sent someone to meet him.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Mind your grammar, Ms. Secretary of the States! The object pronoun of she is her, not him, Ok? No wonder why I insist education all the time. So, who did you send to meet She?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Locke.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Lock? You send a lock to She? China is rich now, they won't be satisfied with a lock. We should send her a better gift, like an iPhone . Speaking of iPhone, it is sad to lose Jobs this year.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: But sir, the job marketing is improving now, we added over 200,000 jobs last month.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: No, no, I mean the Jobs for Apple.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: While, since most farms let visitors pick apples themselves, the jobs for apple picking...(interrupted by Barak)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Enough. Let's go back to China. China is not our friend now, we should spy them. Why don't we send She a bug? Will She buy any special airplane from Boeing like Jian Zeming? We can install bugs on his plane.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: We don't know yet.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Prepare some bugs anyway. By the way, you can contact Bloomberg for free bugs. I heard the beds in New York city are full of bugs.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Ok.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: I am tired, let's take a break. Bill? (He called out.)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Sir, we are in the White House now, not in the restaurant.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: I am not going to pay anything.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Yes, I know the taxpayer will pay for us.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: No, no. Stop talking about tax, it makes me feel sick. I just want Bill. Do you know where is my Bill?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: No. I did not bring cash with me. If you need money, I can give you my credit card.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: No, I do not want money. I want the guy, Bill.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: Oh, I did not bring Bill with me either. He is now being interviewed by my daughter.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Bill is looking for a new job? I thought he is happy with me.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: No, Bill is happy with me! He is loyal to me, while, most of the time. Most importantly, he is not a gay. He will not be happy with you.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Ok, that Bill! Then why is he interviewed by his own daughter? Is he gonna work for her?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Hillary: No, my daughter is now a correspondent for a media. She is responsible for "Making a Difference". </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: No need of her, I can make the difference here: Your Bill is not my Bill. Here comes my Bill.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Bill: Yes, sir?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: No more Yasser, Please! He is history. Now tell me who won the Maine caucus?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Bill: Mitt.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Meat? I thought Maine is famous for its lobster.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Bill: Yes.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Then who won?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Bill: Mitt.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: I hate meat. Lobster is juicier and more delicious. So tell me who won the Maine caucus?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Bill: Mitt.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Barak: Ok, meat! But I prefer meatloaf. Oh, probably also a bowl of Condi Rice, and a cup of Annan Kofi. And when you pay the Bill, do not forget to get a receipt! We need reimbursement from the taxpayers.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">(Author declaration: this is created for pure fun only, no disrespectfulness exists for anyone).</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Notes:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Locke:Gary Locke,US Ambassador to China</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Mitt: Mitt Romney, a GOP Presidential candidate</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Yasser: Yasser Arafat, a Palestinian leader</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Rice: Condoleezza Rice, former Secretary of the States</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Kofi: Kofi Annan, former Secretary-General of UN</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 宋体; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Jobs: Steve Jobs, former CEO of Apple</span><br />
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</span></div>jiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4792894450590706098.post-83996768476193748122012-01-05T19:36:00.000-08:002012-01-05T19:37:05.860-08:00A half-Christian’s year-end testimony (Comedy post)<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: ����;">Brothers and sisters, Peace!<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span> Since I just came to our fellowship, my spiritual foundation is relatively weak, and I am not a good speaker, if there is anything wrong, please bear with me.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I am the kind of person, not only the foundation of spiritual is weak, but the mouth is also clumsy.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>My wife always complains I am BORING, no words with her, like a piece of wood.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I explained to her, my mouth is clumsy, love you in my heart but hard to express through mouth.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>She said your mouth is not clumsy, your mouth no problem at all, except a little bad breath.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Your brain is stupid.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Ah, that really hurts my crystal clear heart.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>No one likes to hear people say that he/she is stupid, right?<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Especially true stupid person.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>So I determined not to acknowledge that my brain is stupid, only admit mouth clumsy.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="font-family: ����;"><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">My wife criticizes me, in fact, is highly qualified.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Because she is very smart, very capable.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>She said to me the usual favorite word is, do you know?<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>"My hubby, don’t you think you're happy? Married me, you earn big."<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>We heard these words, is not that sound familiar?<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I remember last Sunday in the church, brothers and sisters shared the witness, when there is a name often this week to remind you, Mr. sisters.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>It seems capable of sisters plenty of money.Brothers and sisters, when a person is often told you she / he is very capable when you have to believe him / her.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Believe it or not, anyway, I believed.Jesus himself said that he is not God?<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>So my wife so confident, you have to believe that she is really capable.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">There are brothers and sisters might ask: Have you heard potter praises his story?<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Luanjiang!<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>My wife is a high-level intellectuals hey trophies Selling the peasant woman a level?<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Furthermore, said, even told her what the woman is Yuan woman, with what Mrs. Wang, the wind and the cattle are not in!<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>So my wife is not a potter praises.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">Wife told me the table function, not always respond to her about?<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I said, we two you see it, like Huang Rong and Guo Jing like.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>If you read Jin Yong's martial arts, Huang Rong and Guo Jing must know.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Huang Rong beautiful lovely and bright, very high strength and martial arts, there is a kung fu in the world top five of the father, it is all man's idol.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>The other hand, Guo Jing Na, handsome, humble martial arts, but also stiff honest, or single-parent family background.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Guo Jing and Huang Rong married so, like a flower into the cow dung.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I compared his wife Huang Rong, Guo Jing compares himself, thinking that compliments and thoughtful, his wife said the results: How can you Guo Jing that the two erupted.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Injury can not afford ah!<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Brothers and sisters, flattering must be careful, too happy to shoot the horse, and a Sahuan, but also kick you once.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">My wife said, in fact, I was not sad.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I was addicted slaves to do it?<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>No, because my wife is a sharp tongue, a soft heart.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>She loves me, she always said I did not love her more than she loves me.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>She always wanted me to go, especially when eating out.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>She always bought me a lot of clothes, of course, most of all I forced her to go back, but bought her back to me next time.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Touched me the most is that she is always thinking of me when the key.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Such as the end of the year dinner, I told her, people let each choose a representative, bear witness to share.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Wife said, "Of course you go, you are head of the family thing."<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">"Wife, I am stupid mouth Chennai."<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">"You are the head of the family thing."<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">"Wife, my mind still stupid Chennai."<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">"You are the head of the family thing."<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">Was, head of the family, a cure!<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>So I bite the bullet came.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">I am grateful the Lord has given me a competent in addition to his wife, but also give a smart my two lovely daughters.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">We moved in before the bizarre Takenori, live in Harrison.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #e6ecf9; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">Harrison School District is not very good, my oldest daughter is always first in class, I comforted his wife said, "As the saying goes, rather when beheaded, improper Pteris, where old daughter of the first test, how good." my wife said, "but also beheaded Na, also not far from the pig and you pull this thing Cuozai in general, looking at the general, but it is still Cuozai." Look, my wife always level a little higher than I .</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"> </span></span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">So we moved to a bizarre Takenori.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>(To be continued...)</span></span></div>jiyimobuquhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03351899104837831257noreply@blogger.com0